he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
