you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize