dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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