He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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