dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
