Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Randomize
