Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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