i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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