ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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