I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
