Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
