Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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