My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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