i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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