don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize