Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
