lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
