So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
