Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
please come you make the beer taste better
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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