Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
