i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
