bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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