Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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