so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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