Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize