I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he fucked my hip out of place.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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