He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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