I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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