I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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