we have pet lesbian snakes
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
