My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
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I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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