Nicole vs. Life
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
