I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
