She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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