Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
