also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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