I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
worst night to have a conscience
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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