I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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