I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
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When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
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Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Never joke about your clitoris.
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