Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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