Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
