well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize