i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
