I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
