are you still at the devil's house?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
