just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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