I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
