Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
