i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize