Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
