What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
