I accidentally burped into my bong.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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