I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How external is "for external use only"?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize