Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
