I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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