I've blown a few things in my day
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I need moral support for this bender
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
