i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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